Catch Up Round 2

So I've been a bit lack lately in playing catch up for all those months that I didn't post, but at least I've been trying to keep you all up todate on what's going on with me now. Anyway, in my last round of catch up I talked about Thanksgiving and the 2 day AIDS workshop I hosted.

December I tried to host a World AIDS day event for the 8th, but alas it fell through, well parts of it fell through and then no one showed up so thus it didn't happen. What I had planned originally was for the student peer educators I had trained during the AIDS workshop to come and do the skits they prepared during the workship for the community. Everyone seemed on board with this. The week before the event was to take place I was informed that the students could not infact participate because they had their semester exams during that period and could leave school. GRRR I wouldn't have been so frustrated if they had told me that in the beginning instead of letting me plan an event around them being there. I was still going to go on with the event only this time it would just be me and my work partner talking to people in the community and showing them how to use condoms. Unfortuantly, no one showed up. No one was suprised by this lack of turn out, but it did make me sad. It also made me grateful in a way that the kids couldn't make it, cause I would have felt really bad to have had them there waiting and then no one come.

So the planning of that event brought me to the week I was to start heading down to Cotonou to make my way to Accra so I could fly home and suprise my family for Christmas. I didn't get back til mid January. I was scheduled to go on my first vacation in Africa the first part of February so I had to use what little time I had left between getting back and leaving again to find out information regarding the cost of building a well, working on a grant so I could do nutrition workshops later on during the school year, as well as finish and AIDS mural we had started before I left for America.

Talking to God

So I received an email from Mona saying that I should ask God what I should do in regards to my post Peace Corps options. I have tried this in various ways not only regarding this decision but at various times/cross roads in my life which out much luck I must say. So I am asking now, how does one do this? And how does one feel generally during/after doing so?

I usually ask for guidance in making the right decision or for some sort of sign or something that shows that one choice what I am "meant" to do. But always I am left feeling as I did before I did the asking as if I said nothing at all. Never have I felt God's guiding hand, presence or anything which would lead me to believe that a. he's listening to me and b. that one choice is any different than another. So I am always left hoping that I make the right choice as I jump in.

How do you know that when you are getting guidance from God vs. letting your own wants direct you to doing what you want to do?

I'm confused

The Future is Bright, but Unclear

I mentioned in my previous post that my time in PC is coming to an end. I know find myself looking towards the future and asking myself "now what?" I feel like I am graduating college all over again...saying good-bye to friends and a place I've called home now for over 2 years as well as choosing what path I will take as I move on from this amazing experience. Some volunteers are going straight home to look for jobs in what seems like a horrendous job market, some are going to travel and then go home before starting graduate school, and yet others are continuing on with Peace Corps. Some will stay in Benin but doing different work, but most will be going to different countries and again some will stay working in their same field (i.e. keep teaching English) while others will use these past two years experience to find a new job. So where do I fall in all this you ask?

Well I applied and was accepted into a volunteer program in Palestine teaching English and doing general youth outreach work. I had planned on traveling a bit with Patrick before hand to the neighboring countries of Egypt, Jordan and Syria. After finishing up in Palestine my plans were to spend the spring months working in a language immersion camp for french kids in France to help earn some money before going home for the summer and starting graduate school in the fall.

But I'm not sure if that is going to happen any more. I was recently offered another post withing Peace Corps. This time I would be volunteering in Cambodia as a Heath Education Leader. I would be more involved in the training of other volunteers in this position, but probably doing similar work as to what I have been doing. The only problem with this is that it is a new job and thus not very organized as to what they want/expect. But still a definite option.

However there a third option on the horizon. I am looking into going to Jordan with Peace Corps as a English teacher or a Youth Development Volunteer. Because I am switching sectors (I am currently a health volunteer and these positions are not health) I have to send in my resume again and get a letter of recommendation from my PC boss to see if I am qualified enough for either of these.

So as you can see options out the wazoo. I know I am blessed, because as one volunteer stated it is better to have several options than none at all. However it is stressful. I want to make the right decision, but I have no idea what that is or even if there is in fact a wrong decision to be made. All of the above will be great experiences that will help me grow and develop as well as give me skills for my next job. It's just making that choice.

The Beginning of the End

22 months ago I stepped on a plane heading to benin, west africa. boy did i not have a clue as to what I was getting myself into. all i knew was that i was to be a rural community health advior living two years in a small west african village. images of mud huts (mine, not theirs) filled my head. i pictured people eager for help, waiting only for someone to share their knowlege. and through it all not once did i consider how difficult communication would be. how naive i was. i am reflecting on this now (and probably will many times before I leave) because this past week all of the volunteers came into country with (35 out of the 59 we started with) were pulled together for a 3 day confrence in Ouidah. With a beautiful ocean backdrop for the confrence we relaxed either poolside or on the beach after day long sessions convering topics such as resumes, power statements, readjusting to the states and basically life after peace corps. This was the last time we were all together. Slowly one by one we will begin leaving to start our new projects, our new lives lives outside of Peace Corps, or should I say outside of Peace Corps Benin at least. Next week the first of our group will leave. 2 volunteers got picked to go do Peace Corps China, teaching english at universities and so they must leave next week so that they can have their 30 days of home leave (PC pays for volunteers to go home for 30 days if they decide to continue on with PC for another year). A lot will be leaving the end of June and after that we are all kind of sprinkled throughout July, August and Septemeber.

It has been a great time seeing everyone, but tinged with sadness as well. Saying goodbye is never easy especially considering all that we've been through together. I find myself looking around the room sometimes wondering who will I keep in contact with, who will move from being a Peace corps friend to being a real world friend. I would like to think they all will be but I am more realisitic than that.

So we started out with 15 health volunteers, but are only leaving with 7. Here we all are at our Close of Service Confrence in Ouidah. I made us all matching shirts.

Here's a close up the shirt. On front it says, "We Came, We Saw..." and on back it says "We stayed" and is followed by a map of Benin with all of our names and posts listed.

It has become tradition with the health sector to wear meme tissue (same fabric) to the close of confrence ceremony. meme tissue is used in this culture often as a sign of family and save for special events.

Our night were free to do with as we pleased, however we were pretty far from town so we stayed at our hotel for the most part. One night some of the volunteers decided to have a talent show/skit night. Well not many people were prepared so I was a filler telling a short story about the night I recieved my breakfast at 2 am by my host mama.

Here I am with a couple volunteers.

Ouidah in the Morning

Ouidah in the evening

My Home

Burned Bus

I shared with all of you about my near death burning bus experience. A couple weeks ago Meagan had to head down south and en route to her desination she found that the remnants our or bus was still there so she stopped and took these pictures. Here is what's left of our bus...

I am pretty sure that I was in the third row from the back and my friends were in the row in front of me.

Getting a little bit older

I'm 27 now. I'm now closer to 30 than I am 20. When did that happen? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was walking across my college campus or at the vary least leaving home to go to Africa? But it was a good birthday none the less. I wanted to avoid just sitting at home on my ass staring at my white walls contemplating the fact that I am another year older so I made plans with Meagan. She is friends with missionaries in a neighboring town and they make their own ice cream from time to time so I asked Meagan if she could talk to them about us comming over and making ice cream for my birthday. What I thought would be a simple, yet very tasty birthday turned out to be a three day birthday extravaganza. Day one was not even suppose to happen. It was the day before my birthday and I hadn't planned on going up to Malanvile till the next day. I was hanging around the house cleaning up and doing laundry when Meagan texted me. She was bored. One thing led to another and I ended up going to her place.

The night turned out to be a typical night of cooking watching Dawson's Creek. We made a really good salad with breadsticks dinner that night. If you could understand how hard it is to get vegetables up here you'd understand the importance of us actually eating a salad, but anyway. For dessert we tried to make this pistachio pudding Meagan's had for ages. You may be wondering how it is we can make pudding here, but instant pudding is a miracle. Cold water stirred into it and voila you have pudding. It's great! But for some reason it didn't really work for us that night so instead we used it to dip cookies into.

Here we are with our awsome salads and bread sticks.

Day two was birthday day! The day was started off with a coffee bread that Meagan had made the day before.

Me eatting the bread, yumm!

Since it was Sunday we decided to go to church. Like I said earlier Meagan has befriended these missionaries who live in the neighboring village. Each Sunday they hold service not terribly far from where she lives. Sometimes I go with her. They are nice people (man and wife with you child) and it's a really good way for me to practice my french. But anyway, since it was my birthday we did a couple things that we don't normally do, well I don't normally do I should say. The first being trying to look nice. It's hot as well as dirty here. So I am usually of the opinion why bother with makeup or doing my hair or any thing such as that because honestly I sweat off the make usually before I leave the house and am dirty within an hour. But it is fun to dress up once and awhile and so when Meagan suggested doing so for church that day I was like what the hell. I hadn't brought any of my nicer dresses with me so I couldn't look too nice, but I put some make up on and did my hair a bit different than what I was use to. We then possed for "glamour shot" in the living room. Sorry none of those pictures got posted. In honor of my birthday Meagan made me a balloon crown. Yes, Meagan is one of those people who knows how to make balloon animals and such. The crown was awsome and I wore while I walked through town on my way to church. Needless to say the local loved it. Many stopped up to ask us where we were going or what we were doing because obviously we don't wear balloon hats every day so they knew something was up.

Me with my balloon birthday crown before leaving the house.

Me outside the church, wearing my birthday crown.

After church we went to the market trying to make for my birthday dinner. We settled on burgers made from beans. I know that sounds probably horrible, or at the very least increadibly strange, but they are rather tastey. You cook your beans in one pot and in the frying pain you saute onions and garlic. When the beans are done you drain them stir in the onions and garlic add an egg and some oat me, mix to together. Make patties and then fry. But anyway... we got the ingrediants we needed for dinner and made it back to Meagan house at which point Meagan asked me if it was ok if Melanie came over for my birthday as well. I am not as close with Melanie as Meagan is obviously, but I still consider her a friend so I was like sure. By the way Melanie is a german graduate student living here working on fish ponds for school. So she came over and we decided to go tchucking. Tchuke is a localy made beer. It is kind of sold on the sly in these shacks around town, but not really on the sly because everyone knows where they are or where to get it if they want it.

Me, Meagan and Melanie with our tchuke.

After tchuking we went back to Meagan's house to prepare dinner.

Here I am with our dinner, burger with sweet potatoes, yumm!

What a great day! The following day was just as good to. This was ice cream day! The missionaries were cool with hosting us and making ice cream for my birthday. The only thing we needed to do was bring ice since she couldn't make enough to feed all of us. So that morning before we left Malanvile our mission was to find blocks of ice. It took some time, but it was actually suprisingly simple. I was afraid that we weren't going to find any because the power get cut a lot up here so often people don't have electricity enough to keep things like fridges running in order to make something like ice. But after asking around a bit we were able to find people who sold ice. So we packed up the ice and headed down to Guene. The missionaries were cool enough to also make the lunch of our choosing as well. We chose pizza and salad.

Here I am making ice cream. Since it was still my brithday weekend I was allowed to lick the beaters.

So that was my birthday extravaganza. After eatting ice cream we hung around for awhile and chatted. We also did henna tatooes, which here are call lalo, on our legs/ankles. After this I knew it was time to head back to post I had been gone too long as it was. So as it stands I am another year older now, any wiser, well that's debatable. But I'm still standing and I guess that's all that counts.

Until next time...